So I made a decision last weekend that I have kept pretty quiet. I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo but haven’t had the balls to do so, and I guess I’ve never really known precisely what I want. I’m such a geek in the way that I picked my tattoo. Hayden panniterre from heroes got the tattoo a couple of weeks ago and when I saw it I knew straight away! It’s going to say “vivere senza rimpianti” which is Italian for “to live with no regrets” which is how I live my life. I really can’t wait for it!
I’m finding it increasingly hard to post about things when I feel happy. I have noticed a slight hollow in my life where I imagine a good man should be. I’m going through a periods where I am feeling the urge to cuddle up on the couch with a guy and relax blah blah all that kinda stuff. And then at the same time I see Nicola and Hads holed up in her room while i’m laughing it up with the boys and I change my mind! This is probably going to be one of my more unorganized pointless posts i’m afraid. Haha the ref at soccer called me tough on Monday night whilst watching me battle it out for the ball with a man. I have to admit I felt proud lol. I’m gonna have to hold on to that feeling whilst I wait for my tattoo!
Ugh Marc bought up our stupid bet yesterday as those of you on facebook may know! I really don’t wanna streak but at the same time I have the bet with Carlos and if I back out of my streak with marc then I know he will use that to his advantage and refuse to wear the dress, god its going to be so embarrassing if I do it!! I’m really not looking forward to Doug or Shane seeing me naked. I get so sick of Shane finding reasons to touch me or hug me. For the love of god man I’m not and will not be interested! I have had only one moment where I contemplated getting into his bed naked cause I needed a male fix but it is so not worth it!
Hmm what else can I post about? I’m just happy ya know. Albeit a little lonely but regardless i’m happy. Ive been writing this blog for something like 9 months.. it feels like so much longer.. And i'm still holding onto the faith that when the timing is right some one will walk into my life and sweep me off my feet! Ugh bring on Christchurch! I need a holiday!
******UPDATE*******
I am so freaking sick of having people walk all over me! I have been cleaning the house nonstop lately with n help from nic or shane and a little help from carl and it just gets messed up again straight away. I do the dishes all the fucking time! And noone helps! At work people borrow my shit and don’t even have the courtesy to give it back to me, they just dump it on the desk wherever they feel like. The other night we were stitting around having a few drinks and a smoke and I just felt like I was surrounded by negativity! God it was annoying. It feels like im the scape goat for when they wanna give everyone shit and ive had enough. On Saturday Shane volunteered to look after his newphew at the house which was fine, I knew he would need my help but in the end I looked after him the whole freaking day while shane sat on his fat lazy ass playing lame ass cell phone games. God it was annoying. He wouldn’t even come see Noah when he woke up. I had to get him u and changed and then Shane went out and smoked some weed. How freaking irresponsible can you get?
I want to stop doing all the cleaning and stuff but I don’t wanna feel like the house maid! Ugh frustration levels just reached boiling point!
Showing posts with label shane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shane. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Why harrow there strangers of the blog world!
Firstly I think everyone should add me on Facebook lol it seems to be the trend of late! If you want me to add you then leave a comment with your email and voila!
So my life of late has been scandal free and pretty damn boring. I was in bed like the whole of last week with pretty much pneumonia (I have no idea how the funk you spell that) so as you can imagine that sucked! I didn’t eat for three days lol and my mumma was coming over to bring me soup and fruit and shiz all the time. Was nice to be looked after but kinda embarrassing haha. I love my mummy for it tho. I mean come on im her grown ass daughter who hasn’t lived at home for at least two years and she still has the time to do that shiz! I'll post a pic of her so everyone can see my hero lol.
I was meant to go away for the 4day Easter weekend but I couldn’t cause I was sick which sucked. I got left at home with Shane for company, joyous as that was. I thought he was going to stab me in my sleep truth be told lol. No I kidd that’s a really harsh thing to say. This blog doesn’t have much purpose really. I guess having a scandal free life makes for a boring me! Bree and josh, Carls brother and annoying gf apparently got engaged this weekend. The dumb ass boy chose to give her a big rock! What the fuck he was thinking I don’t know, they organized a bbq for this coming weekend to tell the family but Bree decided to tell ME before the rest of them on Friday I think it was. I have no idea why she told me. So much shiz is wrong with that girl. How she made it to 18 is questionable! Haha anyway she told me and I kept my mouth shut. Me n her have had enough dramas for my liking and there is no way I was going down that track again. I deliberately didn’t say anything to Carl because I wasn’t sure what the deal was. We went to soccer and played etc etc skip the boring and were standing outside chatting after when Nicole this chick on the team dropped the “have you seen josh and Bree” bomb and proceeded to tell Carl everything. Half an hour later I got a text from Bree accusing me of telling everyone blah blah. But anyways tho im not sure what the point of that story was I just felt like sharing. All sorted now tho!
A big shout out to Bon Don at "Who throws a cupcake? Honestly." for giving me my first award! Im her blogger bff! I dont know how to post a link but if you wanna check her out just have a look at my profile :-)
And my final note! I have quit smoking! I haven’t had one in 10 days. Me n Carlos have a bet. If I smoke before the end of September I have to change my facebook status to say I am a lesbian and I wanted to tell everyone. Im not allowed to comment back to people who say stuff and just have to ignore it until 24 hours have passed lol. If I stay off the fags then Carlos ha to wash my car in a dress and heels lol. I think I got the better end of the deal! Wish me luck ya’ll!
So my life of late has been scandal free and pretty damn boring. I was in bed like the whole of last week with pretty much pneumonia (I have no idea how the funk you spell that) so as you can imagine that sucked! I didn’t eat for three days lol and my mumma was coming over to bring me soup and fruit and shiz all the time. Was nice to be looked after but kinda embarrassing haha. I love my mummy for it tho. I mean come on im her grown ass daughter who hasn’t lived at home for at least two years and she still has the time to do that shiz! I'll post a pic of her so everyone can see my hero lol.
I was meant to go away for the 4day Easter weekend but I couldn’t cause I was sick which sucked. I got left at home with Shane for company, joyous as that was. I thought he was going to stab me in my sleep truth be told lol. No I kidd that’s a really harsh thing to say. This blog doesn’t have much purpose really. I guess having a scandal free life makes for a boring me! Bree and josh, Carls brother and annoying gf apparently got engaged this weekend. The dumb ass boy chose to give her a big rock! What the fuck he was thinking I don’t know, they organized a bbq for this coming weekend to tell the family but Bree decided to tell ME before the rest of them on Friday I think it was. I have no idea why she told me. So much shiz is wrong with that girl. How she made it to 18 is questionable! Haha anyway she told me and I kept my mouth shut. Me n her have had enough dramas for my liking and there is no way I was going down that track again. I deliberately didn’t say anything to Carl because I wasn’t sure what the deal was. We went to soccer and played etc etc skip the boring and were standing outside chatting after when Nicole this chick on the team dropped the “have you seen josh and Bree” bomb and proceeded to tell Carl everything. Half an hour later I got a text from Bree accusing me of telling everyone blah blah. But anyways tho im not sure what the point of that story was I just felt like sharing. All sorted now tho!
A big shout out to Bon Don at "Who throws a cupcake? Honestly." for giving me my first award! Im her blogger bff! I dont know how to post a link but if you wanna check her out just have a look at my profile :-)
And my final note! I have quit smoking! I haven’t had one in 10 days. Me n Carlos have a bet. If I smoke before the end of September I have to change my facebook status to say I am a lesbian and I wanted to tell everyone. Im not allowed to comment back to people who say stuff and just have to ignore it until 24 hours have passed lol. If I stay off the fags then Carlos ha to wash my car in a dress and heels lol. I think I got the better end of the deal! Wish me luck ya’ll!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Part 2: Good bye anger!
So in thinking about the changes or adjustments I WANT to make to myself I have come to another realization.. I was asked by my Poppa the other night ( I had dinner with him and my nana before my bday) “what affect my mothers drug problem has had on me?”. I sat there at the table for ages and I struggled to think of what it was. And then I realized. Ive developed a very angry side to me and im so much quicker to anger than I ever used to be. I realized this as I was sitting at my desk getting pissed off at yet another one of my stupid customers that have no meaning to me. shane has in fact commented on my aggression as well. I never really thought about it till today. I could feel this intense anger boiling inside of me because of said customers and I had to wonder why. I wasn’t being irrational but I wasn’t being the most peaceful person.
So that’s bought me to the thoughts of working on that side of myself as well. I don’t want to be an angry person who cant control thier temper. Im probably one of the most laid back girls you will ever come across. In fact im more boy than girl in my attitudes to a lot of things.. why should I let a stupid temper ive developed turn into something it doesn’t need to be? This whole working on myself and who I am thing is going to be hard work but if im not happy with myself then whats the point in being who I am?
I remember the days in the old school yard (love Cat Stevens) when things were so simple. Whose party was worth going to.. where were we gonna hang after school? Which beach to wag at? Hoes over Bros always..Dont you miss those days?
So that’s bought me to the thoughts of working on that side of myself as well. I don’t want to be an angry person who cant control thier temper. Im probably one of the most laid back girls you will ever come across. In fact im more boy than girl in my attitudes to a lot of things.. why should I let a stupid temper ive developed turn into something it doesn’t need to be? This whole working on myself and who I am thing is going to be hard work but if im not happy with myself then whats the point in being who I am?
I remember the days in the old school yard (love Cat Stevens) when things were so simple. Whose party was worth going to.. where were we gonna hang after school? Which beach to wag at? Hoes over Bros always..Dont you miss those days?
Monday, March 16, 2009
Happy Birthday To Me!!!
So im officially 21! Jealous much? Haha nah I feel a wee bit older but other than that I just plain feel tired! Im proud to say I remember my whole night and have no blanks despite the volume of booze I consumed!
Saturday started off well. I went out for brunch with my mum and aunty and we just hung out and talked the morning away which was nice. I found out that I have a brother who my own bio dad hasn’t even met. So that’s pretty weird to know that, like what if ive met him and don’t even know? Its been on my mind ever since then and it gives me even more reason to meet this father of mine. My aunty gave me the coolest collage of my family and some stuff to do with the native tribe im from which means a lot. I have no understanding of my Maori side so I do want to learn for sure. My auntys present goes perfectly with the key mum and paul my step dad gave me. I love it so much. Im gonna post a few photos uup so ill make sure I do that. I don’t actually have much to say about the party. I think I am now a legend lol. I did 8 yager bombs and drunk prob 10 vodkas and was still standing at the end of the night! Very unusual for a 21st. I did however chuck at the end of the night when we got home. damn denny’s chilli fries weren’t sitting well in my tummy I guess. Im still pretty tired aye! I went to bed at like 5 on Sunday morning and was up before 9. I guess that redbull was well and truly making its way through my blood stream. Haha we went n got bigmacs for breakfast and then cleaned up after the party. I felt so gross when all the alcohol started sweating it out.
Marc and the bodyguard didn’t stay long but I had quite a few people who did! It was so nice to see who came and who didn’t and see you know who is really there for you. I cant express how much it meant to me to have the others there ya know. Me n carlos seem to be repairing our relationship which is awesome. Im really stoked. I was back to calling him my big brother on sturday which I think was good for both of us.
Nic left early with hads which was disappointing. He was so tired like asleep at one of the tables tired but still… she was pretty gutted specially cause they ended up having a fight… she was just like “I left my best friends 21st for this crap.”. me n nic have come a long way I think. We had a nice talk on Saturday and she said some very nice things.
Im pretty damn lucky I didn’t have a heart attack drinking that many red bulls haha. The boys got me four n then the girls got me another 7 seperatly buut I only ended up doing 8/ tonz was so far trashed that she couldn’t stand and was vomiting! Not a pretty sight. Kinda disappointing as well but hey not much I can do now! Anyways I needa catch up on my work so heres some photos and ill post some more later!
Saturday started off well. I went out for brunch with my mum and aunty and we just hung out and talked the morning away which was nice. I found out that I have a brother who my own bio dad hasn’t even met. So that’s pretty weird to know that, like what if ive met him and don’t even know? Its been on my mind ever since then and it gives me even more reason to meet this father of mine. My aunty gave me the coolest collage of my family and some stuff to do with the native tribe im from which means a lot. I have no understanding of my Maori side so I do want to learn for sure. My auntys present goes perfectly with the key mum and paul my step dad gave me. I love it so much. Im gonna post a few photos uup so ill make sure I do that. I don’t actually have much to say about the party. I think I am now a legend lol. I did 8 yager bombs and drunk prob 10 vodkas and was still standing at the end of the night! Very unusual for a 21st. I did however chuck at the end of the night when we got home. damn denny’s chilli fries weren’t sitting well in my tummy I guess. Im still pretty tired aye! I went to bed at like 5 on Sunday morning and was up before 9. I guess that redbull was well and truly making its way through my blood stream. Haha we went n got bigmacs for breakfast and then cleaned up after the party. I felt so gross when all the alcohol started sweating it out.
Marc and the bodyguard didn’t stay long but I had quite a few people who did! It was so nice to see who came and who didn’t and see you know who is really there for you. I cant express how much it meant to me to have the others there ya know. Me n carlos seem to be repairing our relationship which is awesome. Im really stoked. I was back to calling him my big brother on sturday which I think was good for both of us.
Nic left early with hads which was disappointing. He was so tired like asleep at one of the tables tired but still… she was pretty gutted specially cause they ended up having a fight… she was just like “I left my best friends 21st for this crap.”. me n nic have come a long way I think. We had a nice talk on Saturday and she said some very nice things.
Im pretty damn lucky I didn’t have a heart attack drinking that many red bulls haha. The boys got me four n then the girls got me another 7 seperatly buut I only ended up doing 8/ tonz was so far trashed that she couldn’t stand and was vomiting! Not a pretty sight. Kinda disappointing as well but hey not much I can do now! Anyways I needa catch up on my work so heres some photos and ill post some more later!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Reflection Photos!
I love this photo of me n Nic Having a shot on a girls night!
This is classic as well! Awesome roadtrip! Im a dancing queen haha
Love these two! Two of my favourite boys!
Me n my BFF's Me n the girls!
My little sis n me The view on one of our holidays!
With our crusty snowman! My beautiful country!
My little sis n me The view on one of our holidays!
With our crusty snowman! My beautiful country!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
I finally did it ya'll!
Well I finally relented on Doug and invited him over on Saturday night! I’ve been sooo sick for the last four days! Like I missed work on Thursday cause I had had a headache for the last 3 days and it got quite bad then I started vomiting on Friday! That wasn’t fun! Tho I ate a caramel yoghurt then threw up and it smelt quite nice! Ewww I don’t know why I shared that! It just made my stomach turn lol.
But yeah back to Doug before I vomit again! I decided cause there was no one in the house except Nic n Hadley to let him come over but he had already made plans so I got rejected lol. Nah not really to be fair I did only decide to invite him over at like 8.30! Probably shoulda given him more notice. He kept asking to come over on Saturday but I wouldn’t give him an answer. I guess I find it hard to have him around because everyone gives me so much shit about him and I guess im slightly apprehensive…but anyways I ended up telling him to come watch a DVD- “house bunny” I actually felt dumber after watching it!- so he came round not long after I text him and watched the movie with us..After that we all ended up sitting round and talking while gen n Carl and Nic were in bed. Shane was being so funny and it looked like baby Tonz n Shane were gonna bang again…either that or kill each other haha. Anyways in the end Tonz caught a taxi home and Shane passed out on the couch! I tried to get him to go to bed but all he would do was kick me and call me a “black bastard” in a south African accent. So I told Doug I was tired and kicking him out and he wanted to see my photos before he left. He came in o my room and we talked for a little while then I walked him to the door and he kissed me! And man was it a good kiss. Like we are really good together! In the end I pushed him out the door but I keep thinking about the kiss! Man! Lol do you know what I mean? One of those actual sparks fly first kisses!
So now I don’t know what to do..as bad as it sounds Doug is not my normal type and I feel like everyone is looking down on me for hooking up with him..and him and marc are best friends ya know…like that’s weird. Specially cause he bought it up yesterday…also he only wants one thing…and I don’t know if I would be able to put the emotional barrier up for long.. Hmmm advice guys please!
But yeah back to Doug before I vomit again! I decided cause there was no one in the house except Nic n Hadley to let him come over but he had already made plans so I got rejected lol. Nah not really to be fair I did only decide to invite him over at like 8.30! Probably shoulda given him more notice. He kept asking to come over on Saturday but I wouldn’t give him an answer. I guess I find it hard to have him around because everyone gives me so much shit about him and I guess im slightly apprehensive…but anyways I ended up telling him to come watch a DVD- “house bunny” I actually felt dumber after watching it!- so he came round not long after I text him and watched the movie with us..After that we all ended up sitting round and talking while gen n Carl and Nic were in bed. Shane was being so funny and it looked like baby Tonz n Shane were gonna bang again…either that or kill each other haha. Anyways in the end Tonz caught a taxi home and Shane passed out on the couch! I tried to get him to go to bed but all he would do was kick me and call me a “black bastard” in a south African accent. So I told Doug I was tired and kicking him out and he wanted to see my photos before he left. He came in o my room and we talked for a little while then I walked him to the door and he kissed me! And man was it a good kiss. Like we are really good together! In the end I pushed him out the door but I keep thinking about the kiss! Man! Lol do you know what I mean? One of those actual sparks fly first kisses!
So now I don’t know what to do..as bad as it sounds Doug is not my normal type and I feel like everyone is looking down on me for hooking up with him..and him and marc are best friends ya know…like that’s weird. Specially cause he bought it up yesterday…also he only wants one thing…and I don’t know if I would be able to put the emotional barrier up for long.. Hmmm advice guys please!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Up in smoke!
My weekend was my first sober weekend that ive had in awhile! It was pretty good tho! We went to the mall on Friday after work and got some dinner and went to the cd/dvd store and all walked away with something new lol. I bought my 3rd album from incubus who is my favorite ever and was given the fourth by Shane! Yay! I was so happy lol. Gen bought herself a cod and a movie and nick bought “American history X”. Definitely a movie worth watching! We went to the supermarket, bought some munchies and met the boys at home to watch the movie. It was quite interesting to watch the movie with the fact that all my friends are white lol. Me n Nicola nearly had a drama over it. It really pissed me off that she found the rape in the shower scene more disturbing then the racial hate killing scene…I actually couldn’t believe it. It really makes you think tho. In NZ I think we are so lucky to have the diversity and acceptance that we do have!
Me Tonz n nic went out for lunch on Saturday while gen n Carlos went on a date! So cute! Had the yummiest lunch! Then we came home and had a smoke! Haha was so funny. I love it when nic gets wasted. She started speaking to Shane in this English accent for some reason lol. It was bad at one point tho because our neighbor looked out her window and Tonz just pointed and laughed lo. Shane came outside with a massive bud for us “to enjoy your day ladies” so we went inside to watch a movie…Forest Gump! Perfect movie to watch when you’ve had a smoke! It took us like and hour to get the movie going tho cause we couldn’t work out the DVD player lol. Good times! In the end we decided to have another smoke before watching it, then ordered pizza and watched! Was an awesome way to spend the afternoon! We all had nap times and then did a bit of wake and bake and waited for the others to get home so we could go play black light mini golf. The six of us met hads up there and played. Probably one of the funniest games ive ever played. Poor hads was the only straight one lol.. Nic n hads took Tonz home after the game and me Shane and Carlos had another smoke and just sat outside pissing ourselves. Carl when hes stoned is so crazy like you actually just wanna roll on the floor laughing! I wish I had of been taping that shit lol! Once nic n hads got back we took hads outside for a smoke and then gen n Carl went to bed. Me nic Shane and hads started watching stepbrothers but we all fell asleep lol.. I woke up at like 1.30 and hads was on the floor! Shane had gone to bed and I went to bed too! Apparently nic and hads stayed there till out 6 that morning.
I went to my aunties baby shower yesterday! Only 4 more weeks till my cousin is born. I’m so excited! It’s the first grandchild on that side of the family since my sister was born. I think she’s finding it hard that she’s not gonna be the baby of the family anymore lol. Oh well I just cant wait to see and meet the baby! Her name will be ruby! She will be such a princess if she’s anything like my aunty haha. I went to bed so early last night! Me n Shane had a smoke at like 7.30 it was so buzzy! Ive never smoked just with him and being in a house with three other straight people! Not the one mate! Not the one!
On the note of my sister.. Im a little bit worried bout how she’s going to handle my 21st. its in 19 days! Yay! Everytime me n mum talk about it and try to make plans she trys to turn the conversation onto something else or if I bring up my relatives from my biological fathers side she just shuts down completely. There are three of my aunties on my bio dads side coming to my 21dt and I don’t want her to feel funny! Any advice?
Me Tonz n nic went out for lunch on Saturday while gen n Carlos went on a date! So cute! Had the yummiest lunch! Then we came home and had a smoke! Haha was so funny. I love it when nic gets wasted. She started speaking to Shane in this English accent for some reason lol. It was bad at one point tho because our neighbor looked out her window and Tonz just pointed and laughed lo. Shane came outside with a massive bud for us “to enjoy your day ladies” so we went inside to watch a movie…Forest Gump! Perfect movie to watch when you’ve had a smoke! It took us like and hour to get the movie going tho cause we couldn’t work out the DVD player lol. Good times! In the end we decided to have another smoke before watching it, then ordered pizza and watched! Was an awesome way to spend the afternoon! We all had nap times and then did a bit of wake and bake and waited for the others to get home so we could go play black light mini golf. The six of us met hads up there and played. Probably one of the funniest games ive ever played. Poor hads was the only straight one lol.. Nic n hads took Tonz home after the game and me Shane and Carlos had another smoke and just sat outside pissing ourselves. Carl when hes stoned is so crazy like you actually just wanna roll on the floor laughing! I wish I had of been taping that shit lol! Once nic n hads got back we took hads outside for a smoke and then gen n Carl went to bed. Me nic Shane and hads started watching stepbrothers but we all fell asleep lol.. I woke up at like 1.30 and hads was on the floor! Shane had gone to bed and I went to bed too! Apparently nic and hads stayed there till out 6 that morning.
I went to my aunties baby shower yesterday! Only 4 more weeks till my cousin is born. I’m so excited! It’s the first grandchild on that side of the family since my sister was born. I think she’s finding it hard that she’s not gonna be the baby of the family anymore lol. Oh well I just cant wait to see and meet the baby! Her name will be ruby! She will be such a princess if she’s anything like my aunty haha. I went to bed so early last night! Me n Shane had a smoke at like 7.30 it was so buzzy! Ive never smoked just with him and being in a house with three other straight people! Not the one mate! Not the one!
On the note of my sister.. Im a little bit worried bout how she’s going to handle my 21st. its in 19 days! Yay! Everytime me n mum talk about it and try to make plans she trys to turn the conversation onto something else or if I bring up my relatives from my biological fathers side she just shuts down completely. There are three of my aunties on my bio dads side coming to my 21dt and I don’t want her to feel funny! Any advice?
Monday, February 9, 2009
stupid balding little weasel males!
I am so freaking pissed right now! I went to soccer last night and doug was playing for us cause carl and dobby couldn’t make it. The game before us was running late so we ended up sitting back chatting. Im not sure who will remember but going back to like the beginning of December when all the stuff with me and marc was going on there was MAJOR tension going on in my house. we were all fighting and it was like me n gen against the others. It was horrible. Gen and carl were at the point of breaking up and me n nic were barely speaking. Me n carl have had major shit go down.
The reason we were fighting? Cause the boys and nic were convinced that marc had feelings for gen ETC…me gem m tonz defended this from day one. I mean come on I was the one who was seeing him blah blah. But he was always texting her back etc. I put it down to them being good friends. I mean they clicked instantly. Go I feel like such an idiot! Like I actually have no faith in males ofr anything now. Marc is such a lying little homewrecking whore! It turns out that yes at one point he did have feelings for gen and he was trying to get with her! I cant believe it. Like im so angry I don’t have words for it! He needs to stay the hell away from gen and carl cause they sure as hell dint need his shit!
I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about it. I don’t think doug realized that what he told me was such a big deal but it was. I feel so humiliated cause all along I thought he actually cared about me. god no wonder I get on better with his friends than I do with him!!!!!
On another note…marcs mate doug has been texting me non stop! And my mate ashley is setting me up with this guy called johnno lol. He sounds nice! Theres also that whole tyler thing. Hes so cute!
Grrr so mad! Am I over reacting or do I have a right to feel like this? I feel like my gut instinct let me down and that yeah I deserve to be in the dog box with carl cause I shoulda listened to one of my good friends over a lying, balding little weasel! This is why I don’t trust males! What would make a person do something like that? My god carl apologized to marc about shane saying stuff to him! If you look at the decemeber blogs you can see. Sorry im too gumby to know how ta post the links!
The reason we were fighting? Cause the boys and nic were convinced that marc had feelings for gen ETC…me gem m tonz defended this from day one. I mean come on I was the one who was seeing him blah blah. But he was always texting her back etc. I put it down to them being good friends. I mean they clicked instantly. Go I feel like such an idiot! Like I actually have no faith in males ofr anything now. Marc is such a lying little homewrecking whore! It turns out that yes at one point he did have feelings for gen and he was trying to get with her! I cant believe it. Like im so angry I don’t have words for it! He needs to stay the hell away from gen and carl cause they sure as hell dint need his shit!
I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about it. I don’t think doug realized that what he told me was such a big deal but it was. I feel so humiliated cause all along I thought he actually cared about me. god no wonder I get on better with his friends than I do with him!!!!!
On another note…marcs mate doug has been texting me non stop! And my mate ashley is setting me up with this guy called johnno lol. He sounds nice! Theres also that whole tyler thing. Hes so cute!
Grrr so mad! Am I over reacting or do I have a right to feel like this? I feel like my gut instinct let me down and that yeah I deserve to be in the dog box with carl cause I shoulda listened to one of my good friends over a lying, balding little weasel! This is why I don’t trust males! What would make a person do something like that? My god carl apologized to marc about shane saying stuff to him! If you look at the decemeber blogs you can see. Sorry im too gumby to know how ta post the links!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Longest of long weekends!
Wow whatta weekend I have just had. We had a long weekend here in NZ to celebrate basically the beginning of our country merging with the English settlers that came here. Its to celebrate the treaty that was signed at the time and luckily for us it fell on a Friday this year so we had a long weekend.
On Thursday night I had my mum, dad, stepdad and sister over for dinner cause it was just me n shane home that night. We all had a few beers and a yummy bbq and it as fun hanging out. Then nicola came home n me n her started on the vodka, apple sours and lemonade combo. Mmm it is such a nice drink. Hads ended up coming round and we were all sitting round when marc text asking if we could pick him up. We decided minus shane just to go to his house and hang out. We ended up waking like three other people up and they all came over and joined us. Marc and the jew were tryna get me to hook up with doug one of their friends whose been texting me for awhile. Was def interesting. There was no way I was going there with doug he isn’t realy my type. And the fact hes also hit on tonz before is off putting as well lol. We ended up going home at about 4.30. was def a long night and I needed my sleep the next morning. Which I so didn’t get lol. I managed to drag nic out with me n mum to see my auntys new house that she just bought with her partner which was cool. Its an amazing house! we just hung out for the day in the sweltering heat then went home to rest and relax. We just ended up having a few drinks at home on Friday with me nic hads shane n tonz. It was a bit of a sad day for me cause it goes back to when I had my abortion. I was due on the 6th of feb so I always end up thinking bout it… and I was drinking gin which I fully cant drink anymore lol. So I stopped drinking and went to bed pretty early after nic seranded me to sleep lol
On Saturday it was all pretty much the same. Laxed during the day and then we went out for dinner that night and then went home and had some drinks. My morning yesterday did not start well tho! I woke up to shane smashing on my bedroom door telling me I needed to move my car. I told him where my keys were and next minute he had taken off in my car down the road! I was so freaking pissed! He doesn’t have a licsense and would have been over the alcohol limit and he didn’t ask me if he could borrow my car just took off. It made me so fucking mad and I still am now. He has yet to say sorry or anything and we havnt even spoken since then. Grr I was mad! That started my day off bad and it went from there. The inconsiderate fucks that I live with were going out last night to get everyone dinner but me! it mad me so mad and upset like hello I live here to! In the end I went n got my own dinner and took off to another friends place. It wasn’t even worth being there causeof how ive been feeling.
Lately I feel very left out etc at home and ive been crying etc everyday. I don’t know whats going on but it sucks. Its my 21st soon and I wanna be there with my best friends not the people formerly known as best friends y aknow. I needa get out of the place that im in mentally at the mo… grrr so annoyed with myself!
On Thursday night I had my mum, dad, stepdad and sister over for dinner cause it was just me n shane home that night. We all had a few beers and a yummy bbq and it as fun hanging out. Then nicola came home n me n her started on the vodka, apple sours and lemonade combo. Mmm it is such a nice drink. Hads ended up coming round and we were all sitting round when marc text asking if we could pick him up. We decided minus shane just to go to his house and hang out. We ended up waking like three other people up and they all came over and joined us. Marc and the jew were tryna get me to hook up with doug one of their friends whose been texting me for awhile. Was def interesting. There was no way I was going there with doug he isn’t realy my type. And the fact hes also hit on tonz before is off putting as well lol. We ended up going home at about 4.30. was def a long night and I needed my sleep the next morning. Which I so didn’t get lol. I managed to drag nic out with me n mum to see my auntys new house that she just bought with her partner which was cool. Its an amazing house! we just hung out for the day in the sweltering heat then went home to rest and relax. We just ended up having a few drinks at home on Friday with me nic hads shane n tonz. It was a bit of a sad day for me cause it goes back to when I had my abortion. I was due on the 6th of feb so I always end up thinking bout it… and I was drinking gin which I fully cant drink anymore lol. So I stopped drinking and went to bed pretty early after nic seranded me to sleep lol
On Saturday it was all pretty much the same. Laxed during the day and then we went out for dinner that night and then went home and had some drinks. My morning yesterday did not start well tho! I woke up to shane smashing on my bedroom door telling me I needed to move my car. I told him where my keys were and next minute he had taken off in my car down the road! I was so freaking pissed! He doesn’t have a licsense and would have been over the alcohol limit and he didn’t ask me if he could borrow my car just took off. It made me so fucking mad and I still am now. He has yet to say sorry or anything and we havnt even spoken since then. Grr I was mad! That started my day off bad and it went from there. The inconsiderate fucks that I live with were going out last night to get everyone dinner but me! it mad me so mad and upset like hello I live here to! In the end I went n got my own dinner and took off to another friends place. It wasn’t even worth being there causeof how ive been feeling.
Lately I feel very left out etc at home and ive been crying etc everyday. I don’t know whats going on but it sucks. Its my 21st soon and I wanna be there with my best friends not the people formerly known as best friends y aknow. I needa get out of the place that im in mentally at the mo… grrr so annoyed with myself!
Monday, January 26, 2009
My Weekend Summary
My weekend summary…
I ended up being home alone with shane this weekend which was hmmm…different I would say to the least…I got home from work aon Friday and I was sooo tired. I worked my ass off last week and was over it all so I just flopped on the couch and watched some of my one tree hill dvds that I borrowed…I got season 1 and season 2 off tonz cause I havnt seen all of the shows in those seasons so it was mint. Wnet in got BK for dinner and did nothing…then had a beer with shane when he got home.. in the morning we picked up amy a chick he works with and went to the beach for a few hours. I got so sunburnt…it was fun tho! Me n amy spent the whole time just like mocking shane lol but hey its payback for all the sexual shit he says to me ALL the time! Then we went and got some stuff for a bbq and headed home thinking it was just gonna be me n shane all night. So I rung one of my only friends still in Auckland and got her to come over..i may of mentioned lisa before? We don’t really get on that well but when we do its pretty fun. So she came over for a few drinks and we just laxed n stuff then hads text me asking how my night was etcd and then said marc wanted to know what I was doing so I just said laxing and they said they would come over and save me. yay! It was the first time ive hung out with them by myself but it wasn’t too bad…we went over to the school to play on the playgroung lol juvenile I know and then just went back to mine to watch this movie marc said I wouldn’t like. He was right I didn’t like it! But I ended up falling asleep along with everyone except hads lol. I woke up at like 3.30 and realized the movie had finished and hads woke the boys up to tell them it was time to go…but they all fell asleep again lol. I noticed they were leaving but I was so ready to sleep lol so I fell back asleep even tho my bed is like 2 metres away. I slept on the tiniest little like almost one seater couch lol. I woke up at like 7.30 as well and the boys were still there lol so Sunday was just spent laxing and watching one tree hill. I went to a 21st as well for my cousin but everyone was so drunk and annoying that I was home by like 11. I had a nap before I went out so I couldn’t sleep lol. Was very sucky but I just watched more one tree hill and then went to bed…
All my flatmates came back yesterday but they just felt like strangers…like gens not really talking to me or whatever so I don’t know whats going on…but there isn’t much I can do to changes it…I need more love adventures…I just miss having someone hold me as im falling asleep ya know…all that sorta stuff I miss so much…but its so hard to get out there and find someone and to be honest im not lookin… I guess im just waiting to see if someone will stumble along…
I ended up being home alone with shane this weekend which was hmmm…different I would say to the least…I got home from work aon Friday and I was sooo tired. I worked my ass off last week and was over it all so I just flopped on the couch and watched some of my one tree hill dvds that I borrowed…I got season 1 and season 2 off tonz cause I havnt seen all of the shows in those seasons so it was mint. Wnet in got BK for dinner and did nothing…then had a beer with shane when he got home.. in the morning we picked up amy a chick he works with and went to the beach for a few hours. I got so sunburnt…it was fun tho! Me n amy spent the whole time just like mocking shane lol but hey its payback for all the sexual shit he says to me ALL the time! Then we went and got some stuff for a bbq and headed home thinking it was just gonna be me n shane all night. So I rung one of my only friends still in Auckland and got her to come over..i may of mentioned lisa before? We don’t really get on that well but when we do its pretty fun. So she came over for a few drinks and we just laxed n stuff then hads text me asking how my night was etcd and then said marc wanted to know what I was doing so I just said laxing and they said they would come over and save me. yay! It was the first time ive hung out with them by myself but it wasn’t too bad…we went over to the school to play on the playgroung lol juvenile I know and then just went back to mine to watch this movie marc said I wouldn’t like. He was right I didn’t like it! But I ended up falling asleep along with everyone except hads lol. I woke up at like 3.30 and realized the movie had finished and hads woke the boys up to tell them it was time to go…but they all fell asleep again lol. I noticed they were leaving but I was so ready to sleep lol so I fell back asleep even tho my bed is like 2 metres away. I slept on the tiniest little like almost one seater couch lol. I woke up at like 7.30 as well and the boys were still there lol so Sunday was just spent laxing and watching one tree hill. I went to a 21st as well for my cousin but everyone was so drunk and annoying that I was home by like 11. I had a nap before I went out so I couldn’t sleep lol. Was very sucky but I just watched more one tree hill and then went to bed…
All my flatmates came back yesterday but they just felt like strangers…like gens not really talking to me or whatever so I don’t know whats going on…but there isn’t much I can do to changes it…I need more love adventures…I just miss having someone hold me as im falling asleep ya know…all that sorta stuff I miss so much…but its so hard to get out there and find someone and to be honest im not lookin… I guess im just waiting to see if someone will stumble along…
Monday, January 12, 2009
Awkwardness
so last night was awkward to say the least...i asked shane if he was gonna be able to deal with the whole seeing marc situation and he said he would try not to kick him in the shins…drama at home so didn’t make it any better…gen n nicola weren’t gonna come to the game cause carl thought they were only coming so gen could see marc. These issues needa be put to bed! Hads was arriving at the game as we pulled in and shane launched a stream of abuse the second he saw his car. Thank go hads didn’t hear cause he didn’t deserve it! I told him to grow up and sat down to have a ciggy and a chat with hads. It was cool to see him especially cause we been getting on good as lately! Marc and doug were there and inside and hads went in to see them and doug came out. We talked bout the cricket match then marc came out and I just kept talking. I don’t know why im such a bitch that I didn’t even aknowledge him! But I didn’t…I went in later and said evening then chatted with hads a bit more…apparently I told him bout the pole dancing lmao. That’s embarrassing! But after that it was all good. We played and won against the team we always have problems with and then everyone went there sepreate ways…. So should be an interesting night on satturday…I have my own shit to worry about. I used to be friends with this chick call Danni tho her name for this blog will be slutty pants! She is one of those people who will drag you down. She has a 2 year old son who she never really looks after…shes left him on the side of the road before cause she didn’t wanna look after him…she drinks most days and does a fair amount of drugs. I hung out with her for awhile and ill admt that she was fun. But when I decided to get rid of the people in my life that bought me down she was one of them… and her mum who is a fat ugly interfering bitch didn’t like it. She hates me cause I told her that her and her family could go get fucked. We will call her the beast. The beast made the start of 2008 soawful for me that I nearly had a breakdown. At gens surprise 20th that I organized she sat in a circle with some girls my age and just buitched about me saying some awful shit. And now shes rsvp’d to gens 21st. she works with gen you see and calrs brother was dumb enough to get her youngest daughter knocked up. If it is another we hate zara club this time I will leave. I cant stand that shit and I was in tears before the end of last years party…im not letting it happen again! Hmmm…I have a lot of drama haha. I better start work now!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
I WONDER HOW MY NIGHT WILL GO...
hmm tonight should be very interesting...its the first time ive seen the boys since all the shit went down cause there playing soccer for us... not sure how marc and shane will be with each other...im a bit nervous to see marc cause he has been so funny with me.. He was fine yesterday when I contacted him to play soccer for me tonight so im sure he will be fine. Im tryin to get the girls to come down for support but there all tired!
i had such a good weekend...we went to watch the cricket on saturday so that was all day...theres always interesting stuff to look at and it was good times. There were streakers and so many other things…theres such a heavy police presence tho which I suppose is good cause otherwise it would get dodgy…we sit in the part of the stadium called the terraces where the tickets are cheap and it will always be the most crowded fun part. i love drinking beer in the sun and relaxiing with my best mates! we all kicked back and enjoyed the first 5 hours till it got rained off...by then we were all pretty drunk so we headed to a bar to hang out and have a few more drinks. it was so funny at the cricket cause someone got an actual live flounder confiscated from them...i was justt like wtf? when we got to the bar there were so many people there and it was an awesome atmosphere...we all hung out for awhile then went to catch the bus home. before we got on the boys had bought a box of beer and were just carrying it. Cause the bus driver didn’t say anything the boys-shane carl & mike- cracked open a beer each…the bus driver started yellin to them to stop drinking so they just held the beers between there knees cause there was nothing else ta do. next thing we know the asshole bus driver is stopping the bus and marching down the aisle to physically remove the beer from shanes lap. He was just like wtf and held on to it but all us girls told him to let it go cause he said we would get it back after the ride home…I don’t know why he was getting so upset cause we weren’t misbehaving or anything…the bus continued on and the boys calmed down till welooked out the window at one of the stops and see this random guy walking off with our box in his hands…what a cunt. We tried to get the bus driver to stop but he wouldn’t so we tried talking to him and he ignored us telling us he had called the police and they were going to arrest us. Fuck he was such a tosser! As we were approaching our stop shane called the cops telling them that our bus driver had stolen from us. They were waiting for the bus when we got there. The bus driver got so mad that I thought he was gonna hit me. by this time I had sobered up so much cause of all the dramas! Me n my besties sure know how ta do it up in style lol. We talked to the cops and they decided it was a civil dispute and wouldn’t do anything further…so we went to another liquour store and bought more booze and walked home…
it had certainly been an adventure so far! We started palying this drinking game called I have never and everyone started to get back to there drunken states. We ordered pizza and kept on drinking. The boys decided I needed a shot so I went into the kitchen with mike n shane and they poured us all shots of Candian Club and we shot them back. Then shane kept touching my boobs when I wasn’t aware and I started getting madder and madder. Then mike got in on it so I punched them both and walked away…it was gross and annoying and all the comments they were making to me made me feel like I was being groomed for a threesome with the assholes. Ewww grosss! Then we were outside having a smoke when shane pulled my skirt up…that was it for me aye. I booted him in the leg cause he was sitting down and went inside. He made me feel like a piece of meet or something and I wasn’t having it. Im not attracted to shane at all and don’t appreciate being treated like that. I was texting hads at the time and he told me to kick him in the balls if he did it again and believe me I was more than ready to! I ended up going to bed soon after that cause I couldn’t deal with shane.
I got woken uop the next morning with a headache and the music blaring in the lounge which is right by my bed. I wasn’t happy and who would have put it on? Shane of course. He can be so inconsiderate! When I got out there he was telling carl some story which I didn’t fully get until I looked up at where our tv is. I have this brad pitt cut out that ive had for like a year and I love for the sentimental value..and cause hes moved to every house ive lived in for like the past year an a half. Well when I looked at where he normally stands I noticed he no longer had a head. Shane and mike had been drinking and cut his head off. I was so pissed that I had to leave the room. Shane knew how much he meant to me and had let mike do what he did… in the end after me giving him the silent treatmen he apologized for everything but I guess im still lkinda pissed at him. If he cant handle his drinking he shouldn’t do it. Its my bff’s 21st in two days and I cant wait for the party this weekend! Its gonna be epic!
i had such a good weekend...we went to watch the cricket on saturday so that was all day...theres always interesting stuff to look at and it was good times. There were streakers and so many other things…theres such a heavy police presence tho which I suppose is good cause otherwise it would get dodgy…we sit in the part of the stadium called the terraces where the tickets are cheap and it will always be the most crowded fun part. i love drinking beer in the sun and relaxiing with my best mates! we all kicked back and enjoyed the first 5 hours till it got rained off...by then we were all pretty drunk so we headed to a bar to hang out and have a few more drinks. it was so funny at the cricket cause someone got an actual live flounder confiscated from them...i was justt like wtf? when we got to the bar there were so many people there and it was an awesome atmosphere...we all hung out for awhile then went to catch the bus home. before we got on the boys had bought a box of beer and were just carrying it. Cause the bus driver didn’t say anything the boys-shane carl & mike- cracked open a beer each…the bus driver started yellin to them to stop drinking so they just held the beers between there knees cause there was nothing else ta do. next thing we know the asshole bus driver is stopping the bus and marching down the aisle to physically remove the beer from shanes lap. He was just like wtf and held on to it but all us girls told him to let it go cause he said we would get it back after the ride home…I don’t know why he was getting so upset cause we weren’t misbehaving or anything…the bus continued on and the boys calmed down till welooked out the window at one of the stops and see this random guy walking off with our box in his hands…what a cunt. We tried to get the bus driver to stop but he wouldn’t so we tried talking to him and he ignored us telling us he had called the police and they were going to arrest us. Fuck he was such a tosser! As we were approaching our stop shane called the cops telling them that our bus driver had stolen from us. They were waiting for the bus when we got there. The bus driver got so mad that I thought he was gonna hit me. by this time I had sobered up so much cause of all the dramas! Me n my besties sure know how ta do it up in style lol. We talked to the cops and they decided it was a civil dispute and wouldn’t do anything further…so we went to another liquour store and bought more booze and walked home…
it had certainly been an adventure so far! We started palying this drinking game called I have never and everyone started to get back to there drunken states. We ordered pizza and kept on drinking. The boys decided I needed a shot so I went into the kitchen with mike n shane and they poured us all shots of Candian Club and we shot them back. Then shane kept touching my boobs when I wasn’t aware and I started getting madder and madder. Then mike got in on it so I punched them both and walked away…it was gross and annoying and all the comments they were making to me made me feel like I was being groomed for a threesome with the assholes. Ewww grosss! Then we were outside having a smoke when shane pulled my skirt up…that was it for me aye. I booted him in the leg cause he was sitting down and went inside. He made me feel like a piece of meet or something and I wasn’t having it. Im not attracted to shane at all and don’t appreciate being treated like that. I was texting hads at the time and he told me to kick him in the balls if he did it again and believe me I was more than ready to! I ended up going to bed soon after that cause I couldn’t deal with shane.
I got woken uop the next morning with a headache and the music blaring in the lounge which is right by my bed. I wasn’t happy and who would have put it on? Shane of course. He can be so inconsiderate! When I got out there he was telling carl some story which I didn’t fully get until I looked up at where our tv is. I have this brad pitt cut out that ive had for like a year and I love for the sentimental value..and cause hes moved to every house ive lived in for like the past year an a half. Well when I looked at where he normally stands I noticed he no longer had a head. Shane and mike had been drinking and cut his head off. I was so pissed that I had to leave the room. Shane knew how much he meant to me and had let mike do what he did… in the end after me giving him the silent treatmen he apologized for everything but I guess im still lkinda pissed at him. If he cant handle his drinking he shouldn’t do it. Its my bff’s 21st in two days and I cant wait for the party this weekend! Its gonna be epic!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
THOUGHTS AND REFLECTIONS...
Ok so I havnt blogged much this year and im feeling extremely slack! I guess ive been a bit drama filled at the mo and just stressing out tryna make sure my besties 21st goes off without a hitch next weekend! Its going to be so cool and shes dealt with so much cshit in her life she really deserves it. I know it sounds mean but her dad is an asshole and doesn’t seem to care less about her. He left her and her brother to fend for themselves pretty much from 14 onwards and hes lucky she turned out as amazing as she did! I have to make a speech and im uber nervous about it…should be interesting. Im def gonna stay sober till ive done that lol.
Ok so updates…
We havnt seen marc and co since last year and its been pretty weird. I really wanted to prank them back but the boys voted against us and just said it would get worse if we kept it going. Being that we aren’t uni students on holiday for the next two months we had to kinda agree. They have so much time they can waste and we all work and play sports etc..dont get me wrong im not knocking them for getting educations but I guess I just find it hard to relate to people who still live off mummy and daddy etc..ive been doing my own thing since I was 16 and these boys are 21…marc n tyler don’t seem to be talking to anyone but gen either…they aren’t responding to emails or anything so not sure whats up there…guess we will see at the 21st..me n tonz have been tryna frantically get all the rsvp’s in for gens party cause we don’t want her to be lacking in people ya know…shes invited 120 but only like 45 have said yes…not looking good when its 8 days out from the party…im a bit worried that there may be some extra aggression between marc n shane…they’ve never got on and havnt seen each other since shane threatened marc and marc shaving creamed shanes car…I hope theres not a fight…
Ever since getting laid when I was away ive been looking for my next victim lol. Im thinking I might tap n gap old marcy marc! Tho that does make me a bit nervous cause hes not ery experienced and I don’t wanna wreck things completely…he says he doesn’t do one night stands as well but im sure I could change his mind :P. I went and got all the photos that we had on our groups combined 4 cameras developed yesterday…well about 200 of them. There are so many its crazy!!! But its cool taking a trip down memory lane. Its weird when you look back at photos and see points in your life and notice whos always there and who seems to drift tru time periods…im so greatful for the friends ie kept in touch with..sometimes I sit back and wonder if I did the right thing last year when I weeded out who was and wasn’t important to me…but then I look at my relatively drama freee life and think I made the right choice. I live my life with no regrets so every thing I do is to be happy.
Im starting to get to a point where im wondering what im doing with my life…im turning 21 in two months and I should have some thoughts on it. I have this secret desire to do event planning. Make a career out of it and start my own business. But then it means I would need to go to uni and give up my job and more freedom etc. and I guess im scared to take the leap…what do you guys think…hmm this post is like solid rambling! Hope you guys can follow it!
Ok so updates…
We havnt seen marc and co since last year and its been pretty weird. I really wanted to prank them back but the boys voted against us and just said it would get worse if we kept it going. Being that we aren’t uni students on holiday for the next two months we had to kinda agree. They have so much time they can waste and we all work and play sports etc..dont get me wrong im not knocking them for getting educations but I guess I just find it hard to relate to people who still live off mummy and daddy etc..ive been doing my own thing since I was 16 and these boys are 21…marc n tyler don’t seem to be talking to anyone but gen either…they aren’t responding to emails or anything so not sure whats up there…guess we will see at the 21st..me n tonz have been tryna frantically get all the rsvp’s in for gens party cause we don’t want her to be lacking in people ya know…shes invited 120 but only like 45 have said yes…not looking good when its 8 days out from the party…im a bit worried that there may be some extra aggression between marc n shane…they’ve never got on and havnt seen each other since shane threatened marc and marc shaving creamed shanes car…I hope theres not a fight…
Ever since getting laid when I was away ive been looking for my next victim lol. Im thinking I might tap n gap old marcy marc! Tho that does make me a bit nervous cause hes not ery experienced and I don’t wanna wreck things completely…he says he doesn’t do one night stands as well but im sure I could change his mind :P. I went and got all the photos that we had on our groups combined 4 cameras developed yesterday…well about 200 of them. There are so many its crazy!!! But its cool taking a trip down memory lane. Its weird when you look back at photos and see points in your life and notice whos always there and who seems to drift tru time periods…im so greatful for the friends ie kept in touch with..sometimes I sit back and wonder if I did the right thing last year when I weeded out who was and wasn’t important to me…but then I look at my relatively drama freee life and think I made the right choice. I live my life with no regrets so every thing I do is to be happy.
Im starting to get to a point where im wondering what im doing with my life…im turning 21 in two months and I should have some thoughts on it. I have this secret desire to do event planning. Make a career out of it and start my own business. But then it means I would need to go to uni and give up my job and more freedom etc. and I guess im scared to take the leap…what do you guys think…hmm this post is like solid rambling! Hope you guys can follow it!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Immature boys arent worth my time!
Ok so we seem to be in the miidddle of a full scale prank. In my last post I was talking about how marc had aired all his shit on facebook. Then he changed it to say sorry etc but I was just like whatever. We went and worked at the club on Friday night then came home for what was meant to be the trivial pursuit night. But the boys didn’t show… whatta surprise! What was actually surprising was that we woke up in the morning to find a bed in our driveway. Im not shitting you an actual bed. I was so mad. So they could find the time to bring a BED to our house but couldn’t even text to say they weren’t coming???? Wat the fuck! We moved the bed down the driveway and decided to forget bout them. Everyone was going to a bbq at carls n shanes bros house so me n nic decided to go to our mate nicoles house and have a few drinks. It was so boring as usual! So we left with nic a bit tipsy and me deciding it was revenge time. We went n picked tonz up and got some supplies. Condoms pegs glad wrap so much other stuff. Our first stp was this guy an ex of nics who fully fucked her over. Tonz went and put the condoms filled with moustureizer in the letter box and all over his car then nic egged it! Was soooo funny and as we were leaving the street we passed them on the way home haha! Next up was hadleys house. when we got there it was still a bit light so we just put some condoms etc on his car…same for tylers…then we gladwrapped marcs letterbox cause he doesn’t have a car..after we drove around just causing shit and being immature for awhile gen called and asked us to drop her off. We picked her up then went to the supermarket to get some good supplies for hadleys car! Smoked fish, rotten tomatoes, milk everything. I was mad and it was time they knew it. We dropped gen off and headed up there. Nic was the one who did most of it but we spent probably 10 minutes decorating his car! It must of stunk in the morning lol. We even glad wrapped the tray of his ute. Then we heard a noise and took off. When we came back his mum was outside haha we musty of woken her up. After that we just chilled for ages then went to bed. In the morning we all went out for brunch then came home and cleaned up and just spent sometime as a flat…well with tonz as well lol.
I went to bed at about 10.30ish and was just asleep when I got a text from shane saying if the boys showed up at the house again he was gonna call the cops. Shane had text gen n carl as well and they both got of bed. I went outside and there was shaving cream all over mine n shanes cars and they had put like gel all over my door andles and shanes. We were just sorta like oh well and went back to bed when there was a really loud bang on my windows and the ranch sliders in the lounge and then I heard running. We all got up again and saw they had water bombed the house, it was getting old fast cause unlike them who sleep till noon we all get up at 6 to work ya know. When I got up this morning to go to work I found they had also left a fridge in the driveway… wat the fuck? I guess there showing there ages now huh! Or more should I say there showing the fact that they are just uni students living at home, not working and still getting money off there parents… I was so mad cause I had to go to work in this other new building which is further away so needed my sleep. And I ended up getting like 4 hours cause everytime I heard a noise I skectched out. Omg carl just text me and said e went to check the mail and they had smoke bombed our letter box for fucks sake! What if it had of caught on fire…im guessing this is now the end of the friendships…
I went to bed at about 10.30ish and was just asleep when I got a text from shane saying if the boys showed up at the house again he was gonna call the cops. Shane had text gen n carl as well and they both got of bed. I went outside and there was shaving cream all over mine n shanes cars and they had put like gel all over my door andles and shanes. We were just sorta like oh well and went back to bed when there was a really loud bang on my windows and the ranch sliders in the lounge and then I heard running. We all got up again and saw they had water bombed the house, it was getting old fast cause unlike them who sleep till noon we all get up at 6 to work ya know. When I got up this morning to go to work I found they had also left a fridge in the driveway… wat the fuck? I guess there showing there ages now huh! Or more should I say there showing the fact that they are just uni students living at home, not working and still getting money off there parents… I was so mad cause I had to go to work in this other new building which is further away so needed my sleep. And I ended up getting like 4 hours cause everytime I heard a noise I skectched out. Omg carl just text me and said e went to check the mail and they had smoke bombed our letter box for fucks sake! What if it had of caught on fire…im guessing this is now the end of the friendships…
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Whinge of the day
Do you ever wake up some days and feel so alone and so…I don’t know how to describe it. I have so much on my mind right now. Once again I havnt heard from marc in a few days. Nothing has been said about this weekend and his declarations….christmas is so freaking expensive…and I still have my bestys 21st present to buy before the end of this month. Its all kinda snowballing. And im so busy at work doing the job of two people while getting paid the salary of less than one. At least home life is semi-ok at the moment. And sometimes I think maybe I have a crush on The Bodyguard…hes one of marcs best friends but we get on so well. I call him my bodyguard cause of a couple of weeks ago when I was hiding behind him from shane…and its just stuck since then lo..but I get on so well with him and he talks to me…and I think hes quite cute as well…hes turning 21 next week on xmas eve…so I want to have a drink with him but already have plans…and sometimes I think maybe he likes me too. Cause when we were in the car talking about me n marc he was like nope I think you guys should just stay friends blah blah even tho everyone else was like you guys would be so good. I kinda feel like im pushing myself to much at the moment. Im flat out at work and im ot sleeping much more than 5 hours a night. Like no matter what I do I cant sleep past 5am unless I go to bed at like 11-11.30 and then I sleep till 6 if im lucky… ugh I just feel tired and stressed and it seems to be national bitch week you know…every customer I talk to has a problem and are so rude or abusive…to the point where I don’t want to answer the phone anymore or make any calls…maybe its just cause its that time of year…everyone gets down around Christmas I guess…and I need to have the strength to tell marc that we will be friends and friends only…cause im letting him treat me like a loser…go i cant stand my job for much longer. i feel like crying right now...
Sunday, December 7, 2008
la di da di da
What a weekend man! Hmm not that much to tell except I am sooo tired its not even funny lol im taking the day off work tomorrow to sit and do nothing!
Friday night I had arranged to go to soccer for a little while then Nic n Nicole n Caleb who is only the cutest 1 and a half year old ever were going to pick me up but instead I ended up going xmas shopping with them then heading back to nicoles for a few drinks. All good fun but being that me n nicole who used to live together havnt really hung out since we fell out (long story) like 3 months ago it was a bit awkward. Me n Nic headed home at like 9.30 to have a fairly early night and watch gossip girl. When we got home Shane had bought a box of beer and was keen to have a few so me being the obliging person that I am, cranked up the music and got into it haha. Was probably not the best idea! I was quite tipsy and crying before the night was over cause me n shane were having a deep n meaningful as we do when were drunk and it took me back to thinking bout when I lost a bay earlier this year…wasn’t the best convo or time to be having it. Me n Shane actually talked for the first time in awhile and he told me that hes not in love with me etc hahahahaha was pretty funny cause he followed it up with but you need to forget about marc etc cause hes just stringin you along. What evs man you don’t wanna be with me? Ugh he can be so annoying. Hes just not my type aye lol. His hot best frind who he bought over to the house on Saturday is hahaha.
Anyway on Saturday we had the 21st of one of my best girls from school planned. It was gonna be a family dinner and then drinks at hers but got changed to drinks at ours somehow. So we decorated the house and sent the text out inviting everyone to ours and went to dinner. Ugh it was so uncomfortable cause the family of the bday girl hates me n somehow blames me for all of the drug problems and alcohol shit that shes been thru. Its so funny that they blame me cause the only drug I touch is weed and that’s not often. You couldn’t pay me to do other drugs. Anyway we got diner over and done with and headed back to mine for a good time. Things were going well and the boys had just got home from a soccer game and marc n co had just arrived. We were all hanging out etc n me n gen did speeches which by the way was so embarrassing in front of marc haha. Then gen decided it was time for her to talk to marc and tonz who wantedin on the action followed her and they went off to the other deck to talk. They were out there for like two hours! But back to the current situation by this time the bday girl jess is fucked and telling me how much she misses our old friendship etc so I grabbed marcs boys and took off outside lol. We were all cracking each other up and then shane started talking to me and saying some dirty as shit. I was just like ewww stop it and ran over to hide behind tyler lol. He was like whats wrong who are you hiding from and I told him and he put his arm around me and was like its ok lol.
Then the shit hit the fan! Shane who has this paranoia that marc is tryna steal gen from carl starts mouthing off about marc saying hes gonna go smash him blah blah as stupid boys do. so I went outside and hauled gens ass inside lol to try and prevent a fight and me n tyler n dean started planning on fighting shane haha. Not the one! Then marc came back and we were all talking and hanging out till I realized marc was pretty upset looking. The girls had told him what had been said and he wanted to leave. I was so mad cause I wanted to hang out with him but there was nothing I could do to change what shane had said. Fuck he drives me crazy. After marc left I text him and told him I was sorry but he was so upset. I don’t blame him! Yesterday he was alright tho and tonight we are having a talk about were this is gonna head cause im at the point of writing him off ya know. He told the girls he was keen etc but that hes scared of getting hurt cause hes been fucked over by his last two gfs. Im just like hello like I haven’t been screwed over either haha. I hope this talk goes the way I want it to but im not counting on iit. If it goes good hopefully we will get to hang out tomorrow!
Ugh I better do some work! Peace ya’ll!
Friday night I had arranged to go to soccer for a little while then Nic n Nicole n Caleb who is only the cutest 1 and a half year old ever were going to pick me up but instead I ended up going xmas shopping with them then heading back to nicoles for a few drinks. All good fun but being that me n nicole who used to live together havnt really hung out since we fell out (long story) like 3 months ago it was a bit awkward. Me n Nic headed home at like 9.30 to have a fairly early night and watch gossip girl. When we got home Shane had bought a box of beer and was keen to have a few so me being the obliging person that I am, cranked up the music and got into it haha. Was probably not the best idea! I was quite tipsy and crying before the night was over cause me n shane were having a deep n meaningful as we do when were drunk and it took me back to thinking bout when I lost a bay earlier this year…wasn’t the best convo or time to be having it. Me n Shane actually talked for the first time in awhile and he told me that hes not in love with me etc hahahahaha was pretty funny cause he followed it up with but you need to forget about marc etc cause hes just stringin you along. What evs man you don’t wanna be with me? Ugh he can be so annoying. Hes just not my type aye lol. His hot best frind who he bought over to the house on Saturday is hahaha.
Anyway on Saturday we had the 21st of one of my best girls from school planned. It was gonna be a family dinner and then drinks at hers but got changed to drinks at ours somehow. So we decorated the house and sent the text out inviting everyone to ours and went to dinner. Ugh it was so uncomfortable cause the family of the bday girl hates me n somehow blames me for all of the drug problems and alcohol shit that shes been thru. Its so funny that they blame me cause the only drug I touch is weed and that’s not often. You couldn’t pay me to do other drugs. Anyway we got diner over and done with and headed back to mine for a good time. Things were going well and the boys had just got home from a soccer game and marc n co had just arrived. We were all hanging out etc n me n gen did speeches which by the way was so embarrassing in front of marc haha. Then gen decided it was time for her to talk to marc and tonz who wantedin on the action followed her and they went off to the other deck to talk. They were out there for like two hours! But back to the current situation by this time the bday girl jess is fucked and telling me how much she misses our old friendship etc so I grabbed marcs boys and took off outside lol. We were all cracking each other up and then shane started talking to me and saying some dirty as shit. I was just like ewww stop it and ran over to hide behind tyler lol. He was like whats wrong who are you hiding from and I told him and he put his arm around me and was like its ok lol.
Then the shit hit the fan! Shane who has this paranoia that marc is tryna steal gen from carl starts mouthing off about marc saying hes gonna go smash him blah blah as stupid boys do. so I went outside and hauled gens ass inside lol to try and prevent a fight and me n tyler n dean started planning on fighting shane haha. Not the one! Then marc came back and we were all talking and hanging out till I realized marc was pretty upset looking. The girls had told him what had been said and he wanted to leave. I was so mad cause I wanted to hang out with him but there was nothing I could do to change what shane had said. Fuck he drives me crazy. After marc left I text him and told him I was sorry but he was so upset. I don’t blame him! Yesterday he was alright tho and tonight we are having a talk about were this is gonna head cause im at the point of writing him off ya know. He told the girls he was keen etc but that hes scared of getting hurt cause hes been fucked over by his last two gfs. Im just like hello like I haven’t been screwed over either haha. I hope this talk goes the way I want it to but im not counting on iit. If it goes good hopefully we will get to hang out tomorrow!
Ugh I better do some work! Peace ya’ll!
Monday, November 3, 2008
thoughts?
Work is so frustrating today! I am feeling fully overworked and underpaid and it so doestn help that I screwed my shoulder last night at my soccer game! Man I felt like I sucked when we were playing! And it didn’t help we were playing this asshole team that I seem to have prolems with lol. One of the last times we were playing one of there team said something really rude to me then didn’t even shake my hand after the game! So I being who I am yelled at him in front of everyone haha and he ended up apologizing…and carlos has this thing where him and one of there players almost kill each other every game we play…so its never a good game really!
It made me feel so unfit! Like I was nearly vomiting from all the physical parts of it haha I suppose I shouldn’t laugh really! Im super glad M didn’t end up playing! Now that would have been so embarrassing! Haha I really freeze up when I have an audience buut I think I need to get past that cause I mean im not shy in other parts of my life.
Ive been doing so much thinking about M and I finally voiced some of it to my girls last night. Like I like him at night when were sitting around having a few drinks and hanging out etc but then in the morning its all like so different and I find myself thinking hmm am I attracted to him? Is this completely shallow? Like I feel like a bitch but I guess after all the times ive been fucked around I have high standards and I refuse to go back to someone that im not attracted to…ya know?
Ewww speaking of blast from the past I was at my family dinner the other night when my uncles gf whos 22 bought up the EX. Man that was awkward…I guess cause we were all close in age and used to spend a bit of time together it was a fair enough question…but as well I think it was good…like I was able to answer her questions honestly…when I said I didn’t know what he was upto and didn’t care I think I meant it… he was my first love and I don’t regret any of our time together…but I think I can finally let go…so what if I wear the necklace he gave me for my 17th birthday lol. I get so many compliments on it and I love it…not just for the sentimental value either….
I guess I finally feel like im making some progress!
On another note, I think one of my flatmates in going to move out…me n him had this thing like over a year ago and I found out last night hes still not letting it go…no matter what I do he seems to have this thing where he wont let go of me…and I don’t know how to really put it out there without letting him know what my friend told me…hmm it’s a tough situation cause I don’t want him to feel unwelcome in thhe house and I don’t wanna cause tension…even tho im not sure exactly how im doing it… errr! Its just annoying lol!
It made me feel so unfit! Like I was nearly vomiting from all the physical parts of it haha I suppose I shouldn’t laugh really! Im super glad M didn’t end up playing! Now that would have been so embarrassing! Haha I really freeze up when I have an audience buut I think I need to get past that cause I mean im not shy in other parts of my life.
Ive been doing so much thinking about M and I finally voiced some of it to my girls last night. Like I like him at night when were sitting around having a few drinks and hanging out etc but then in the morning its all like so different and I find myself thinking hmm am I attracted to him? Is this completely shallow? Like I feel like a bitch but I guess after all the times ive been fucked around I have high standards and I refuse to go back to someone that im not attracted to…ya know?
Ewww speaking of blast from the past I was at my family dinner the other night when my uncles gf whos 22 bought up the EX. Man that was awkward…I guess cause we were all close in age and used to spend a bit of time together it was a fair enough question…but as well I think it was good…like I was able to answer her questions honestly…when I said I didn’t know what he was upto and didn’t care I think I meant it… he was my first love and I don’t regret any of our time together…but I think I can finally let go…so what if I wear the necklace he gave me for my 17th birthday lol. I get so many compliments on it and I love it…not just for the sentimental value either….
I guess I finally feel like im making some progress!
On another note, I think one of my flatmates in going to move out…me n him had this thing like over a year ago and I found out last night hes still not letting it go…no matter what I do he seems to have this thing where he wont let go of me…and I don’t know how to really put it out there without letting him know what my friend told me…hmm it’s a tough situation cause I don’t want him to feel unwelcome in thhe house and I don’t wanna cause tension…even tho im not sure exactly how im doing it… errr! Its just annoying lol!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
HMMM
ok so im sitting here at work thinking bout this guy i recently re met again. the one i went to prmary school with. things have been quite weird in the way that he seems to like being the only one to make contact or flirt or whateva.
so last night i had quite and early night, cause my flatmates were all pissing me off something chronic! But that’s gonna be saved for later. Then for god knows what reason I woke up at like 3.30 this morning to a text from M(who musta been at the concert)
‘ jus ncase I die slipknot rox n you rock xx”
So im lying there thinking what the hell cause I didn’t know there was a concert haha and I text him back this morning just saying so are you alive…no response 5 hours later. I don’t need constant attention but just a reply would have been nice ya know.
He just seems like this awesome guy. Hes cute hes tall hes smart he plays all the sports I love and hes on his way too some serious qualifications. Am I overreacting or expecting too much? I know I need to learn patience but that’s something ive never really possessed haha. I blame my mum for that!
Ugh last night I was not in a good mood. I was just laxing at home and it was my turn too cook so I made this yum as dinner! Smashed postatoes, deviled sausages and broccoli and cheese and the night was going great, until like 8 oclock and I just got grumpy. I didn’t wanna talk to anyone and all I wanted to do was sit there. I don’t think im that great at living with 4 other people.
It doesn’t help that one of my flatmate-shane- and me used to have this sorta thing like a year ago. It didn’t work out and now since we live together im starting to think this guy is in love with me. Like seriously hes such a dick to me at times and the rest of the time he alternates between sleazy comments and just being way too nice. I want this shit too stop but I just don’t know how to tell him that hes mc sleazy extrodinare… like hes a good friend but some of the stuff he says too me…ugh I shudder thinking bout it now…
Yay im also in super excited mode at the mo cause Im going away with my three best friends on a road trip tomorrow! Im sure im gonna have lots too right about tomorrow cause man 4 girls spending 4 days together…its never gonna end well :P
Time for me too get back too work!
so last night i had quite and early night, cause my flatmates were all pissing me off something chronic! But that’s gonna be saved for later. Then for god knows what reason I woke up at like 3.30 this morning to a text from M(who musta been at the concert)
‘ jus ncase I die slipknot rox n you rock xx”
So im lying there thinking what the hell cause I didn’t know there was a concert haha and I text him back this morning just saying so are you alive…no response 5 hours later. I don’t need constant attention but just a reply would have been nice ya know.
He just seems like this awesome guy. Hes cute hes tall hes smart he plays all the sports I love and hes on his way too some serious qualifications. Am I overreacting or expecting too much? I know I need to learn patience but that’s something ive never really possessed haha. I blame my mum for that!
Ugh last night I was not in a good mood. I was just laxing at home and it was my turn too cook so I made this yum as dinner! Smashed postatoes, deviled sausages and broccoli and cheese and the night was going great, until like 8 oclock and I just got grumpy. I didn’t wanna talk to anyone and all I wanted to do was sit there. I don’t think im that great at living with 4 other people.
It doesn’t help that one of my flatmate-shane- and me used to have this sorta thing like a year ago. It didn’t work out and now since we live together im starting to think this guy is in love with me. Like seriously hes such a dick to me at times and the rest of the time he alternates between sleazy comments and just being way too nice. I want this shit too stop but I just don’t know how to tell him that hes mc sleazy extrodinare… like hes a good friend but some of the stuff he says too me…ugh I shudder thinking bout it now…
Yay im also in super excited mode at the mo cause Im going away with my three best friends on a road trip tomorrow! Im sure im gonna have lots too right about tomorrow cause man 4 girls spending 4 days together…its never gonna end well :P
Time for me too get back too work!
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