Ok so it’s Tuesday and im back at work after my fabulous long weekend! Ugh sigh! I hade the best time this weekend! me n my girls headed down to a town about 3 hours away after work on Friday and it was like just what I needed. We left the boys at home at about 5 and took our time leaving the city haha we didn’t even end up getting out until about 7 o’clock and we arrived at about 10, got some dinner and went to our house we were staying at. Nic went too bed when we got there but that was all good. Me, G n Tonz had a few drinks and played some singstar! It was awesome!
The next day we got up fairly early and headed off to another town a few minutes away and did what we girls do best! Some serious shopping. The funniest part about all of it was that I actually was the one to keep shopping after everyone else gave up! And I hate shopping. I guess im sort of like a boy in many ways cause I just cant be bothered wasting sooo much time shopping whereas all my girls can spend hours doing it! But all in all it was a good day! I bought a new hoody that was way cheap and some cute denim shorts and heaps of new knickers! I spent way more than I should of but it was worth it! We went out for dinner after a glass of wine by our fabulous pool and spent a good couple of hours at the restaurant eating and having some serious talking time.
I was watching this show on Thursday night and this lady lost her husband. By the end of the show I was in tears and it was just like why should I love someone when this could happen? I suppose I should be glad I am the way I am. I get on better with boys because im not one too show my feelings and im pretty tough. I mean don’t get me wrong I love to be spoiled and too love but im not the girl to go to when you want someone to cry etc. have you ever thought about what it would be like to lose those close to you? That’s seriously all I could think of it was so stupid.
After the restaurant we went home n hade a smoke which was sooo funny, one of my girls is pretty innocent and has never smoked before so watching her was probably the highlight of my night. She couldn’t even walk properly! Good times!!! We woke up in the morning to having no money and shitty as weather so we headed back home and invited my new interest and his boys round for a few drinks.
Me n M spent most of Sunday night cuddled up on the couch n playfighting which was soo much fun. Then he ended up sleeping in my bed cause we didn’t have enough couches for all of them too crash on. We had a few snuggles before going to sleep at about 7am! Sooo tired yesterday! We were according to my flat mate def giving off the vibe of something more than friends and I was feeling the vibe too.. So I decided I was gonna tell him that I liked him. I played soccer and after getting shit from my best guy mate I decided to give him a text. We were talking for awhile until I told him I had something I needed to say to him. I text him n said that I liked him but I didn’t want to if the thought wasn’t there. The response I got wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for. He said that he didn’t know what he was feeling and that he had a lot of stuff going on. So not the thing I needed to here. Im thinking that’s another guy that bites the dust.
I mean what am I supposed to do? sit around n wait while he decides if he wants me or not. Haha I guess this blog is helping me cause I only came to that conclusion as I was writing this! So it looks like its back to the drawing board for me! I’m young free and single officially once again! Why should I be the one to sit here waiting! I’m turning my feelings off!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
HMMM
ok so im sitting here at work thinking bout this guy i recently re met again. the one i went to prmary school with. things have been quite weird in the way that he seems to like being the only one to make contact or flirt or whateva.
so last night i had quite and early night, cause my flatmates were all pissing me off something chronic! But that’s gonna be saved for later. Then for god knows what reason I woke up at like 3.30 this morning to a text from M(who musta been at the concert)
‘ jus ncase I die slipknot rox n you rock xx”
So im lying there thinking what the hell cause I didn’t know there was a concert haha and I text him back this morning just saying so are you alive…no response 5 hours later. I don’t need constant attention but just a reply would have been nice ya know.
He just seems like this awesome guy. Hes cute hes tall hes smart he plays all the sports I love and hes on his way too some serious qualifications. Am I overreacting or expecting too much? I know I need to learn patience but that’s something ive never really possessed haha. I blame my mum for that!
Ugh last night I was not in a good mood. I was just laxing at home and it was my turn too cook so I made this yum as dinner! Smashed postatoes, deviled sausages and broccoli and cheese and the night was going great, until like 8 oclock and I just got grumpy. I didn’t wanna talk to anyone and all I wanted to do was sit there. I don’t think im that great at living with 4 other people.
It doesn’t help that one of my flatmate-shane- and me used to have this sorta thing like a year ago. It didn’t work out and now since we live together im starting to think this guy is in love with me. Like seriously hes such a dick to me at times and the rest of the time he alternates between sleazy comments and just being way too nice. I want this shit too stop but I just don’t know how to tell him that hes mc sleazy extrodinare… like hes a good friend but some of the stuff he says too me…ugh I shudder thinking bout it now…
Yay im also in super excited mode at the mo cause Im going away with my three best friends on a road trip tomorrow! Im sure im gonna have lots too right about tomorrow cause man 4 girls spending 4 days together…its never gonna end well :P
Time for me too get back too work!
so last night i had quite and early night, cause my flatmates were all pissing me off something chronic! But that’s gonna be saved for later. Then for god knows what reason I woke up at like 3.30 this morning to a text from M(who musta been at the concert)
‘ jus ncase I die slipknot rox n you rock xx”
So im lying there thinking what the hell cause I didn’t know there was a concert haha and I text him back this morning just saying so are you alive…no response 5 hours later. I don’t need constant attention but just a reply would have been nice ya know.
He just seems like this awesome guy. Hes cute hes tall hes smart he plays all the sports I love and hes on his way too some serious qualifications. Am I overreacting or expecting too much? I know I need to learn patience but that’s something ive never really possessed haha. I blame my mum for that!
Ugh last night I was not in a good mood. I was just laxing at home and it was my turn too cook so I made this yum as dinner! Smashed postatoes, deviled sausages and broccoli and cheese and the night was going great, until like 8 oclock and I just got grumpy. I didn’t wanna talk to anyone and all I wanted to do was sit there. I don’t think im that great at living with 4 other people.
It doesn’t help that one of my flatmate-shane- and me used to have this sorta thing like a year ago. It didn’t work out and now since we live together im starting to think this guy is in love with me. Like seriously hes such a dick to me at times and the rest of the time he alternates between sleazy comments and just being way too nice. I want this shit too stop but I just don’t know how to tell him that hes mc sleazy extrodinare… like hes a good friend but some of the stuff he says too me…ugh I shudder thinking bout it now…
Yay im also in super excited mode at the mo cause Im going away with my three best friends on a road trip tomorrow! Im sure im gonna have lots too right about tomorrow cause man 4 girls spending 4 days together…its never gonna end well :P
Time for me too get back too work!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
THE REMAINING STORY
So to continue, I hooked up with Mr. cheat and from then on we were together. We had this fantastic start to our relationship. He told me he loved me after 3 weeks and I know he meant it. Until that is our first bump in the road. Now I know hes always maintained that he was innocent and never had feelings for her, we discovered that his last gf now had cancer. And he took it pretty hard. So things were a bit rocky there for awhile. Then we managed to finish that year of school and everything was good and when I say good it was great. We had this amazing thing were he could read my mind and I could read his. Everything about us was perfect. He was so cute and we had the same tastes in so many things.
Then a few months into our last year at school we realized that I hadn’t yet had my monthly. And I was tiered and sick and just not great. So we spent a coupe of days waiting and worrying before our appointment trying to decided what to do. When the day finally came and the test came back positive…I just couldn’t believe it. I cried so much. Shortly after that we did all the routine stuff and went to the clinic to get an abortion. The most heart breaking thing was while we were sitting there Mr. cheat asked me to leave so we could go and have the baby.
After it all happened we went back to his house and spent the night chilling which was good because I needed him so much. But that wasn’t gonna last cause Mr. cheat decided to take off to Hamilton the next day and not tell me where he was. I was so worried and just couldn’t handle it. I was mourning the loss of my child and trying to get my relationship back on track. A few days later I ended up in hospital cause I wasn’t looking after my self. I finally managed to get him too come back for the night but he took off again the next day.. it was such a bad time in my life and probably his too.
After a few months our relationship started to take a bit of a down turn and he ended up ending things with me. Only problem was that we couldn’t stay away from each other and seemed to be more in love than ever. We both did the most spiteful things during that time. He had two gfs and I slept with one of his friends and hooked up with another, it was the ultimate in slutty times for me. I was always ready and willing to give in to mr cheat during that time cause I wanted him back soo bad even tho he was always so bad too me. He never thought bout me once durting that time and whenever it looked like I was going to break his hold over me he would always pull himself back in.
After two months of this I had had enough. I told him I couldn’t do it anymore and a few days later he came running back. He cried and apologized and it all seemed so much better. We moved in together out of the city and it was bliss. We had soo much fun and things were back too normal. Except for one thing. All of a sudden he was moving to the south island. And he didn’t know what he wanted from me blah blah blah. Eventually it was decided I would stay in the city until he had it all set up and then move down to be with him.
It was the hardest 2 months of my life and I could only afford to visit once in that time. I was missing him big time and finding it very hard to stay outta trouble. I had his friends all hitting on me and when I wouldn’t agree they would call him up and tell him bullshit and get him mad…now im sure you can figure out the rest of the story…I moved down there and found out he cheadted on me so after giving up my whole life for him I came straight back up to the city. I woulda thought that would be the end but it made it throught the grapevie that I had a new bf. And so of course he started chasing me and he wanted me back. It went on like this for months until I dumped my bf for him and he decided he wasn’t interested anymore. After awhile I decided he wasn’t worth it till I got a phone call at the end of last year from him… he was telling me we were gonna get married when we were the right age and have kids and it was all gonna bebreat. I couldn’t believe this guy….
Simce then ive had a couple of guys in my life but ive just never been able too move on…and now its like ive got theses two great guys around but im holding something back…hmm I don’t know im so confudsed. How do I make myself get over this guy!
Then a few months into our last year at school we realized that I hadn’t yet had my monthly. And I was tiered and sick and just not great. So we spent a coupe of days waiting and worrying before our appointment trying to decided what to do. When the day finally came and the test came back positive…I just couldn’t believe it. I cried so much. Shortly after that we did all the routine stuff and went to the clinic to get an abortion. The most heart breaking thing was while we were sitting there Mr. cheat asked me to leave so we could go and have the baby.
After it all happened we went back to his house and spent the night chilling which was good because I needed him so much. But that wasn’t gonna last cause Mr. cheat decided to take off to Hamilton the next day and not tell me where he was. I was so worried and just couldn’t handle it. I was mourning the loss of my child and trying to get my relationship back on track. A few days later I ended up in hospital cause I wasn’t looking after my self. I finally managed to get him too come back for the night but he took off again the next day.. it was such a bad time in my life and probably his too.
After a few months our relationship started to take a bit of a down turn and he ended up ending things with me. Only problem was that we couldn’t stay away from each other and seemed to be more in love than ever. We both did the most spiteful things during that time. He had two gfs and I slept with one of his friends and hooked up with another, it was the ultimate in slutty times for me. I was always ready and willing to give in to mr cheat during that time cause I wanted him back soo bad even tho he was always so bad too me. He never thought bout me once durting that time and whenever it looked like I was going to break his hold over me he would always pull himself back in.
After two months of this I had had enough. I told him I couldn’t do it anymore and a few days later he came running back. He cried and apologized and it all seemed so much better. We moved in together out of the city and it was bliss. We had soo much fun and things were back too normal. Except for one thing. All of a sudden he was moving to the south island. And he didn’t know what he wanted from me blah blah blah. Eventually it was decided I would stay in the city until he had it all set up and then move down to be with him.
It was the hardest 2 months of my life and I could only afford to visit once in that time. I was missing him big time and finding it very hard to stay outta trouble. I had his friends all hitting on me and when I wouldn’t agree they would call him up and tell him bullshit and get him mad…now im sure you can figure out the rest of the story…I moved down there and found out he cheadted on me so after giving up my whole life for him I came straight back up to the city. I woulda thought that would be the end but it made it throught the grapevie that I had a new bf. And so of course he started chasing me and he wanted me back. It went on like this for months until I dumped my bf for him and he decided he wasn’t interested anymore. After awhile I decided he wasn’t worth it till I got a phone call at the end of last year from him… he was telling me we were gonna get married when we were the right age and have kids and it was all gonna bebreat. I couldn’t believe this guy….
Simce then ive had a couple of guys in my life but ive just never been able too move on…and now its like ive got theses two great guys around but im holding something back…hmm I don’t know im so confudsed. How do I make myself get over this guy!
The start of Me!
Ok so right now im sitting here and im feeling really selfish. I just got off the phone with Gen my best friend of 8 years and she made me really mad. We have this big plan to go away this weekend for labour weekend on the most awesome girls weekend But im broke. So were all doing this on sorta the cheap way but we all agreed. Mean while her and my friend were planning all this extra stuff behind my back like taking an extra car etc that would end up costing us so much more etc. and so yeah I got mad! Is that selfish?
So this situation with my old school firend whos now back in my life is so weird. Like he only ever texts me at night and never really has much to say. So im not getting the vibe that hes interested in me. But I dunno like I could be wrong or I could be trying to put too much onto something that im not ready for or am only doing to please my family.
I was inspired by one of the other bloggers to give you guys the full run down on my ex. This is probably going to sound so stupid cause its been 2 years since we broke up but I still cant get him outta my head.
I used to be the most serial dater I guess even at the young age of 16. I always had guys scomin in and out of my life and I never really showed any from of regard for there feelings. That is until I met this guy. I had been with my bf for a month when I met mr cheat cause he started at my high school. We just like clicked instantly. It was so funny cause all our friends 2would be like hey you guys should be together blah blah. Even my bf at the time would sit there asking me if I was gonna leave him for mr cheat-what can I say I musta been showing- I would always deny it and so would mr cheat. He was such a palyer and I so didn’t wanna get hurt. Eventually after us hanging out for like 4 months I started to click I had feelings for him. And from what id heard he wanted me just as bad. It all came to a head when we went on a school trip away. We eneded up zipped into our sleeping bags next to each other and one thing led to another and we hooked up…
I think im gonna have to finish this later..ive got soo much work to do and my break is over!
So this situation with my old school firend whos now back in my life is so weird. Like he only ever texts me at night and never really has much to say. So im not getting the vibe that hes interested in me. But I dunno like I could be wrong or I could be trying to put too much onto something that im not ready for or am only doing to please my family.
I was inspired by one of the other bloggers to give you guys the full run down on my ex. This is probably going to sound so stupid cause its been 2 years since we broke up but I still cant get him outta my head.
I used to be the most serial dater I guess even at the young age of 16. I always had guys scomin in and out of my life and I never really showed any from of regard for there feelings. That is until I met this guy. I had been with my bf for a month when I met mr cheat cause he started at my high school. We just like clicked instantly. It was so funny cause all our friends 2would be like hey you guys should be together blah blah. Even my bf at the time would sit there asking me if I was gonna leave him for mr cheat-what can I say I musta been showing- I would always deny it and so would mr cheat. He was such a palyer and I so didn’t wanna get hurt. Eventually after us hanging out for like 4 months I started to click I had feelings for him. And from what id heard he wanted me just as bad. It all came to a head when we went on a school trip away. We eneded up zipped into our sleeping bags next to each other and one thing led to another and we hooked up…
I think im gonna have to finish this later..ive got soo much work to do and my break is over!
Monday, October 20, 2008
First...
Ok so i randomly stumbled upon these blogs a cpuple of weeks ago and theyve been sorta fascinating me ever since...and i love my friends but i dont think any of them really get where im coming from...
So to give you the lowdown on me...
Im 20 years old and i work as a credit controller and i love my job...altho i do think i have a tendancy to be slack which i am trying to fix...i live in a house with my best friends...Gen (best friend for 9 years), Carlos ( best friends bf and now like a big brother to me), Nic ( an awesome chick i met like 6months ago) and Shane (Carls big brother and royal pain in the ass.). I have the best relationship with my mum and im not currently on speaking terms with my dad. My mum and dad broke up when i was 16 and it forced me to grow up majorly..which is also about the time things went wrong.
Ok so this whole blog idea came about thanks to me trying to get back into the whole dating scene after i got heart broken two years ago.
There was this guy who i will call The Cheat..we were together for two and a bit years and he wa my first love...we went through so much together...an abortion..long distance...cheating...family stuff and we still managed to survive most of it.. that is until i moved to be with him and left everyone behind and found out he cheated on me while we were doig the whole long distance thing. at the same time i was also pregnant again. how unfair is that. i know people who read this( if they do) will be like omg at what i say next but im glad that i miscarryed. so i moved back home and since then ive just sorta madwe bad choice after bad choice while sorta clinging onto the hope that me and this guy will some how get back together. How deluded is that?
After quite some time of being single and loving it i got this random email from this guy i went to school with. and since then weve been talking and texting and emailing each other and ive seen him a few times. but its like if he flirts with me and i flirt back he shuts down. Like hello what am i not allowed to make a move or am i coming onto strong im so confused!
Onto the other men in my life..So my good friend Carlos has this HOT!!!!! friend who only wants one night stands...and after 6 months of no action im about ready to try n get him interested. even tho that ges against my whole system. I mean i dont do one night stands.
I had for awhile this guy i was sleepng with but he was a COCK to me and that ended back in april and there hasnt really been anyone since.
Also its hard when one of my room mates seems to have this crush that shoulda been gone a year ago! He just loves to make it diffucult for me! But hmmm perhaps i should do some work like im here for!
So to give you the lowdown on me...
Im 20 years old and i work as a credit controller and i love my job...altho i do think i have a tendancy to be slack which i am trying to fix...i live in a house with my best friends...Gen (best friend for 9 years), Carlos ( best friends bf and now like a big brother to me), Nic ( an awesome chick i met like 6months ago) and Shane (Carls big brother and royal pain in the ass.). I have the best relationship with my mum and im not currently on speaking terms with my dad. My mum and dad broke up when i was 16 and it forced me to grow up majorly..which is also about the time things went wrong.
Ok so this whole blog idea came about thanks to me trying to get back into the whole dating scene after i got heart broken two years ago.
There was this guy who i will call The Cheat..we were together for two and a bit years and he wa my first love...we went through so much together...an abortion..long distance...cheating...family stuff and we still managed to survive most of it.. that is until i moved to be with him and left everyone behind and found out he cheated on me while we were doig the whole long distance thing. at the same time i was also pregnant again. how unfair is that. i know people who read this( if they do) will be like omg at what i say next but im glad that i miscarryed. so i moved back home and since then ive just sorta madwe bad choice after bad choice while sorta clinging onto the hope that me and this guy will some how get back together. How deluded is that?
After quite some time of being single and loving it i got this random email from this guy i went to school with. and since then weve been talking and texting and emailing each other and ive seen him a few times. but its like if he flirts with me and i flirt back he shuts down. Like hello what am i not allowed to make a move or am i coming onto strong im so confused!
Onto the other men in my life..So my good friend Carlos has this HOT!!!!! friend who only wants one night stands...and after 6 months of no action im about ready to try n get him interested. even tho that ges against my whole system. I mean i dont do one night stands.
I had for awhile this guy i was sleepng with but he was a COCK to me and that ended back in april and there hasnt really been anyone since.
Also its hard when one of my room mates seems to have this crush that shoulda been gone a year ago! He just loves to make it diffucult for me! But hmmm perhaps i should do some work like im here for!
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