Update

Is it strange that I’m having a baby with a man who I know I love but who doesn’t seem to love me?

I feel so conflicted at the moment and I’m trying to be happy for the sake of my baby but I feel like I’m in constant preparation to becoming a single parent and to being by myself. I crave affection since I got pregnant and it seems like ever since we found out, he doesn’t want to give me any affection. I had to ask him to hold my hand when we went for our scan yesterday and he made it seem like a privilege for me then later on he’s giving me random hugs and when I ask what it’s for he says do I need a reason? I said well yes cause I don’t get them otherwise… he claims he’s going to start doing it more and I don’t know why he had the change of heart If it would of lasted through the night to be honest. I’m at work at the moment which sucks. I just don’t want to be around people at the moment and would love t be sitting on a beach somewhere in the fresh air.


I’m 12 and half weeks pregnant now and my belly is just starting to pop out which is weird. I can’t wait till we find out what were having so I can buy the baby things and it can feel even more real. It’s so amazing to know this life is growing inside me and that its heart is beating and its moving.

At the end of the day if he leaves me I know I will have my beautiful child and that I will love him or her more than anything else in the world so that is what I tell myself when I cant sleep at night. I hide it well.